“I really think I need a little pill or something.”
That was me, recently, after realizing just how many feels I had been having.
I had started exploring dating again, and whew, soooooo many feels.
The excitement. The vulnerability. The uncertainty. The disappointment. The hope. The overthinking. The joy. All of it.
At one point, I honestly wondered if I was even able to do this again.
And somewhere in the middle of all those feelings, I decided there were two things I needed to do:
I need to find a home church.
And I need to find a therapist again.
I am in a place in life where I realize that experiences do not always have to be categorized as good or bad.
Sometimes they are just experiences.
And experiences are necessary if we are going to truly live.
When Gwennie was in the NICU, I learned how important touch is to a baby’s development. Those tiny babies need to be touched, held, comforted, and connected to the world around them.
The older I get, the more I realize that adults really are not all that different.
We still need to be touched.
Maybe not always physically, but metaphorically.
We need to be touched by love. Friendship. Music. Motherhood. Faith. Beauty. Disappointment. Grief. Adventure. Conversations that challenge us. Experiences that stretch us.
Sometimes what touches us hurts.
But I would rather be touched by life than numb to it.
Because maybe the ache is part of knowing we are alive.
And I have realized that even the difficult feelings leave something behind.
I feel stronger in some way.
Wiser in some way.
I know more about myself.
Surprisingly, I do not want to stop feeling.
Because life is not meant to be merely survived.
Life is meant to be lived.
Felt.
And maybe that is why I keep coming back to something I learned when Gwennie was so tiny.
Babies need touch because they are developing.
And perhaps adults need to be touched by life for the same reason.
We are still developing.
And becoming does not have an expiration date.
Age only defines the confines of a finite mind.
Learning can happen at any age.
Progression can happen at any age.
Growth can happen at any age.
The mind that believes in the infinite will always find room to grow.
I do not want to live a life so carefully protected from pain that I miss the joy, the discovery, the love, and the growth that come with being fully alive.
Because ultimately, I think I have realized something very simple:
I enjoy living.
So I will keep growing.
Keep Living.
Until Next Time,
Keep Living!
© 2026 Living with Loren. Written with faith, lived with grace, and shared with love. All rights reserved.
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