Living with Loren

I prayed for wisdom at a young age.
Not just the kind that helps you ace a test or give good advice—but the kind that sees, feels, and understands beyond the surface. I remember sitting up in bed as a child, Bible in my lap, talking to God in whispers and tears. Seeking Him in a way I honestly don’t even seek Him now. I was hungry for Him. I wanted to know His heart.

And you know what?
He answered me.

But if I’m being honest, had I known then what I know now… I may not have asked.

Because wisdom doesn’t come gift-wrapped—it comes at a cost.
It comes through:

Broken relationships you can’t fix

A tattered heart you have to hand back to God daily

Heavy silence between you and people who once knew your laugh

Retrospect that cuts deep while you’re still working through introspect

Wisdom doesn’t just make you smart.
It makes you see.
And seeing, friends… can hurt.

But still, I wouldn’t change it. Because this journey of becoming—and then becoming again—is holy. And now, I find myself in this season where I can’t stop writing, feeling, sharing, pouring.

It’s like the calling I once whispered for has taken on a life of its own.
It flows out of me without permission.
It burns in my chest until I let it out.
It speaks when I’m quiet, and moves even when I try to rest.
It feels like the gift has a mind of its own.

I ask myself—Is this what it’s like to walk in your calling?
To feel as though your words, your presence, your very being are tethered to something so much bigger than you?

Because that’s how it feels.
Like I’m not crafting anything, I’m simply carrying it.
Like I’m not chasing a dream—I’m answering a divine appointment.

And maybe you’ve felt this, too. Maybe you’ve had seasons where the gifts God placed in you wouldn’t let you sleep, wouldn’t let you stay quiet, wouldn’t let you quit.

That’s how you know it’s real.

When the call won’t clock out.
When the gift won’t be boxed in.
When the anointing shows up without warning, fully clothed and ready to work.

This is what it feels like when your purpose gets louder than your fear.
This is what it looks like when you stop negotiating with the call and just let it move.

Welcome to the season where you don’t carry the calling—it carries you.

Until Next Time,

Keep Living!

Love, Loren

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“Write the vision, and make it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it.”
—Habakkuk 2:2 (NKJV)